Without
by amberdowny
Summary: How do you live without your parents? The Curtis boys aren't sure, and they aren't sure when, or if, they'll figure it out.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Without

Author: SP

Disclaimer: The Outsiders is the property of SE Hinton, not me.  
Rating: K+/T

Word Count: 2055

Summary: How do you live without your parents? A companion/predecessor to "You"  
Author's Notes: Two questions: Did SE Hinton ever give a name for Mrs. Curtis? How about birthdays for the gang? I intended this to be a one shot. Well, it's gonna be more than that. The next chapter will be a lot shorter, just to forewarn you. And "You" hasn't been written yet, but it's in the works.

"We'll be back by eleven," Dad said. "Pony, behave and listen to Darry. You too, Soda."

Soda grinned. "Don't I always?"

Darry raised an eyebrow. "Who got picked up last month for doing acrobatics in the street?"

"Well--"

"And who told you not to be an idiot?"

Soda shrugged. "Well, don't I usually?"

Dad laughed. "Usually."

"Darry, make sure Pony does his homework," Mom said.

"Hey!" I protested. "I already did my homework, _and_ I don't need to be reminded anyway."

"Yeah Mom, if anyone needs to be reminded, it's Sodapop."

Soda stuck his tongue out at Darry. "Well, guess what, Superman, I did mine too."

"We'll be back by eleven," Dad said again, and then he and Mom walked out. Mom locked the door behind her, out of habit I guessed.

Darry strode to the door and unlocked it. We never kept it locked. One of us would always sneak out and unlock the door after Mom or Dad locked it at night. Darry usually did it, since he slept closest to it. We knew that Mom and Dad would kill us if they ever found out, but we figured it was worth Johnny not getting killed literally, or Dally or Steve not killing someone else.

"Darry, will you check my algebra homework?" I asked.

"Sure Pony. You having trouble?"

I shook my head. "Not really, I just wanna make sure I'm doing okay."

"I never see you at school, Pony," Soda said. "Anyone giving you a hard time? Me and Steve and Two-Bit and Johnny maybe could knock 'em around a little."

"It's not worth it," I said, picking up a book and trying to find my page.

Darry's head snapped up, and the pencil he was using to check my work left a long mark across the page. "Someone _is_ giving you a hard time?"

I shook my head. "No, not really. Not any more than usual."

"What's usual?"

"You know. Socs being Socs."

Darry relaxed then, because that wasn't unusual. It wasn't fair either, but it wasn't unusual. "Well Pony, I don't know what you're so worried about. All your problems are right."

Soda, who'd failed algebra the first time and barely passed with a D the second time, grinned. "Of course they are. This is Ponyboy we're talking about. The kid who skipped fifth grade, remember?"

I think I turned red then. "Aw, cut it out," I mumbled, taking a swipe at him. He dodged it easily.

"Now, he might be good at school, but this kid needs to learn how to fight," Soda continued, turning to Darry.

"Hey!" I cried, "That's not fair! There was a rumble just last month and I fought okay!"

Soda turned back around. "Yeah, but you were ganging up with Johnny. And you had a little one."

Darry was tiptoeing across the kitchen towards Soda. He winked at me, so I kept talking.

"Yeah, well you did too, and you still came out worse than me."

Soda raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

Darry suddenly grabbed Soda from behind and flipped him upside down. Soda shrieked, and Darry and I started laughing. "You just screamed like a girl," he informed Soda.

"Did not," Soda replied.

"Yes you did," I chimed in.

Soda stuck his tongue out at me. That only made me laugh harder, since he was still dangling upside down. "_Tickle him_," Darry mouthed at me. I walked closer to them, stuck my tongue out at Soda, and then started tickling his ribs.

Sodapop started giggling and squirming. "St-stop!" he gasped out, still giggling. I didn't let up, just tickled him more. In return, he squirmed more.

"I'm gonna drop you," Darry warned, but Soda didn't seem to care. He kept wiggling around. Finally Darry dropped him and tried not to drop him, which ended up with all three of us on the floor laughing, since Soda had grabbed me when he started going down.

There was suddenly a knock at the door, and that shut us up pretty quick. It had to be something bad, because no one who would usually show up at our house at nine o'clock would bother knocking. We all looked at each other nervously as we stood up. Finally, Darry crossed to the door and pulled it open. A cop was standing there.

I sucked in a breath and instinctively looked at Soda. He was looking at Darry nervously.

"Can I help you, officer?" Darry asked politely. I don't know if the cop could tell, but he was also nervous as hell.

The cop looked pretty nervous himself. "Are you Darrel Curtis, Junior?"

Darry nodded.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but your parents, Darrel and Melanie, were involved in a car crash about twenty minutes ago."

Darry swallowed. "Are they…all right?" he asked.

"I'm sorry. Your mother died at the scene and your father died en route to the hospital."

"Thank you," Darry said, then shut the door as the cop started walking down the drive. He turned to face us.

Tears were streaming silently down Soda's face. My lower lip quivered, and then I burst out sobbing. Darry held out his arms, and both Soda and I rushed into them.

"No," Soda whispered. "No, it can't be true."

I whimpered and held onto Darry tighter.

"I'm sorry little buddy, but it must be."

"No," Soda whispered again.

I closed my eyes and prayed that I was dreaming. I just had to be. There was no way Mom and Dad could be dead. There was just no way. They'd been alive half an hour ago. They'd been alive and teasing us. Just like usual. So how could something so unusual have happened?

Sodapop suddenly broke loose from our hold and ran into the bathroom, where he dropped to his knees beside the toilet and started heaving. Darry followed him, and I, not wanting to be alone, followed Darry. Darry knelt beside Soda, put an arm around him and murmured, "I know, I know."

I stood awkwardly in the doorway, with tears running down my cheeks.

Soda looked up and saw me. "C'mere Pony," he said softly, holding out an arm. I slipped underneath it and buried my face in Soda's neck.

We all just sat there for awhile, me and Soda bawling and Darry holding us. Around eleven, Darry nudged us. "Hey," he said, "there's nothing to be gained by sitting here all night. Let's go to bed." He stood up, gently disentangling himself from us. We stood up too, and the three of us left the bathroom. Soda and I stopped when we reached the door to Soda's room. We looked at each other, and then at Darry. I knew we were both thinking the same thing: _I don't want to be alone_.

Darry knew too. "None of our beds are big enough for all three of us." Except for Mom and Dad's, he didn't say. I was thinking it. He was thinking it. Soda was thinking it too. But none of us wanted to be the first to say it. In the end, none of us did say it. We all just turned toward their door, then opened it and went in and lay down on their bed. It still smelled like them, and was cause for me and Soda to cry harder. Darry still hadn't cried. I guess he was trying to be strong for us, or something. Maybe he just didn't want us to see him cry. I don't know.

Anyway, I guess we all fell asleep at some point, because when I woke up the next morning, I was sandwiched between Soda and Darry, both of whom were dead to the world, and Soda had his arm around me and Darry had his arm over both me and Soda. I tried to sit up to look at the clock without waking either of them, but instead I woke both of them.

"What time is it?" Soda asked, in a much more solemn voice than usual.

"Seven," Darry replied, after sitting up and checking the clock.

Soda sighed and closed his eyes. "What are we gonna do?" he asked. "What's gonna happen to me and Pony?"

I hadn't even thought about that.

"I'll take care of you," Darry said. "I won't let anyone split us up. I promise."

"But--" Soda began. Darry cut him off.

"Not now, okay? Look, I have to go and figure out funeral arrangements and stuff today. Probably identify the bodies." His voice trembled very slightly. "You two don't need to come. It'd probably be best if you didn't."

Darry got out of bed, and Soda and I followed him like ducklings. He went into the bathroom and closed the door. A second later, we heard the shower start running.

"I miss them, Soda," I said, starting to bawl again. It was the first thing I'd said since we fooled around the night before.

"I know. I do too," Soda replied, in tears himself. He sat on the couch and patted the spot next to him. I sat and curled up next to him. He stroked my hair gently. "But…well, you know Mom always said stuff happens for a reason. We'll be all right."

I sniffled.

The door banged open, and Steve Randle and Johnny Cade came into the house, as they did most mornings. They stopped dead when they saw me and Soda on the couch and Mom and Dad nowhere in sight.

"Oh glory, what happened?" Johnny asked.

"Mom and Dad," I whispered. "They…"

Johnny seemed to know what I meant. "I'm sorry."

Steve looked concernedly at Soda. He sat on his other side and put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey," he said awkwardly. I decided it would be best to let Soda have a minute with his best friend and stood up. I walked over and stood beside Johnny.

Johnny hugged me, and then stepped back. "I should probably go…"

I shook my head. "No…not yet. Please."

"Okay." Johnny gave me a look similar to the one Steve had given Sodapop.

"You got a cigarette Johnny?" I asked him.

He reached into his pocket. "Sure man. I didn't think you smoked much."

"I don't," I replied, taking the proffered cigarette and match. I lit up and then inhaled the smoke slowly, hoping it'd calm me down somewhat.

"Look, we should get going," Steve said awkwardly.

"Yeah," Johnny replied, and they both headed for the door. "Let us know if you need anything."

Soda nodded, and I noticed that he'd bummed a cigarette off Steve. "Hey Steve," he called, as Steve was about to shut the door behind him.

"Yeah?"

"You wanna toss me a few more cigarettes?"

Steve tossed the whole mostly full pack at him, along with his matches. "Sure."

"Thanks."

Steve let the door slam behind him.

I flopped down onto the couch. Soda and I just sat there smoking, not talking. When I finished my cigarette, I reached over and snagged another one from the pack in Soda's hand.

Darry came out of the bathroom then, fully dressed, and seemed surprised to find us both smoking. I didn't smoke much, since I'd just decided to start, and Soda hardly smoked himself. "Where'd you get the cigarettes?" he asked.

"Steve," Soda replied.

"I thought I heard his voice," Darry said. He grabbed the keys to his old Ford truck off the table. "I'll be back soon."

I didn't want him to leave, at least not without me and Soda too. But I also knew that Darry was right; Soda and I really didn't need to go with him.

Soda, as always, knew what I was thinking. "He needs some time alone anyway, Pony. We'll be all right for a little while."

"Yeah…" I sighed. "Soda, what is gonna happen to us?"

"I don't know honey. I know Darry won't let us get split up if he can help it, but I don't know if we'll be allowed to stay together." Soda took a drag of his cigarette, tipped his head back against the couch cushions, closed his eyes, and exhaled the smoke. A tear slid down his cheek. I put out my cigarette and leaned against him. He slid an arm around me.

"What are we gonna do without them?"


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Without Chapter 2

Author: SP

Disclaimer: The Outsiders is the property of SE Hinton, not me.  
Rating: T, for language.

Word Count: 878

Summary: …And how do you live without the closest thing to parents you've ever known? The other boys' reactions.  
Author's Notes: More of an interlude than an actual second chapter yet. In third person, a few snapshots. Some of this repeats chapter 1 directly.

The door banged open, and Steve Randle and Johnny Cade entered the Curtis house, as they did most mornings. They stopped dead when they saw Ponyboy and Sodapop on the sofa, crying, and neither of the Curtis parents in sight.

"Oh glory, what happened?" Johnny asked.

"Mom and Dad," Ponyboy whispered. "They…"

Johnny knew instantly what must have happened. "I'm sorry."

Steve looked concernedly at Soda, his best friend. He sat on his other side and put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey," he said awkwardly. Ponyboy stood and crossed the room to stand at Johnny's side.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked Soda quietly.

Soda turned and looked at him incredulously. "No."

Steve winced. "I meant…will you be?"

Soda sighed. "Yeah, more than likely."

"Listen…don't try to be strong for Ponyboy. Let yourself go sometimes."

Soda laughed, a strange laugh that didn't sound like him at all. "That's not even a problem. Tell that to Darry."

Steve didn't know what to say in response.

"Steve, you wanna toss me a cigarette?" Soda asked.

"Sure," Steve said, and handed him one.

"Thanks."

Meanwhile, Johnny hugged Ponyboy, and then stepped back. "I should probably go…" he said, thinking that he ought to leave the Curtis brothers alone. They'd need each other.

Pony shook his head. "No…not yet. Please."

"Okay." Johnny gave him a look similar to the one Steve had given Sodapop.

"You got a cigarette Johnny?" Pony asked him.

He reached into his pocket, surprised that Pony has asked. "Sure man. I didn't think you smoked much."

"I don't," he replied, taking the proffered cigarette and match. He lit up and then inhaled the smoke slowly.

"Look, we should get going," Steve said awkwardly.

"Yeah," Johnny replied, and they both headed for the door. "Let us know if you need anything."

Soda nodded. "Hey Steve," he called, as Steve was about to shut the door behind him.

"Yeah?"

"You wanna toss me a few more cigarettes?"

Steve tossed the whole mostly full pack at him, along with his matches. "Sure," he said again.

"Thanks."

Steve let the door slam behind him. He and Johnny walked down to the sidewalk in silence. Finally, Johnny broke the silence.

"Wow. I can't hardly believe it."

"Me neither," Steve replied. "Man, they don't deserve this. They were a perfect family, and that's something that's real scarce around here."

"The Curtises were everyone's parents, kinda. We'll all miss them," Johnny said thoughtfully.

"Ain't that the truth?"

---

Johnny and Steve met Two-Bit in the front of the school building. Two-Bit was normally at the Curtis house in the morning too, and so he explained, "I had to walk my kid sister to school this morning. Mom's got the flu or something." He paused, and then said, "Hey, speaking of having the flu, where are Sodapop and Ponyboy at?"

Johnny and Steve exchanged a look.

"What is it?" Two-Bit asked, becoming uncharacteristically sober.

"Their parents died," Steve finally said.

Two-Bit sucked in a breath. "Jesus."

"Yeah."

"When? How?"

"Last night I guess, I don't know how. We stopped by this morning, like usual. I talked to Soda for a couple minutes, but he didn't tell me anything specific, and I sure as hell wasn't going to ask."

"Man."

---

"You no good bitch! I don't know why I ever married you!"

"The feeling's mutual, bastard!"

More shouts, not exactly distinguishable, followed. Johnny carefully shut the door behind him. He thought about turning right around and leaving, but that wasn't really an option. He needed to change his clothes. He quietly snuck into his room and undressed. As he did, he wondered whether it would be better to have parents who were alive, but were constantly fighting with each other and you, or to have parents who weren't alive, but had been loving and caring.

Johnny winced as something, probably a chair, smashed into the wall. Definitely the second option.

He finished buttoning his jeans, then shrugged on his jacket and slipped out his door. He was almost to the front door when his father caught sight of him and reeled around and slapped him across the face. "And you! You're just like your mother! Get out!"

Johnny quickly did so. He hesitated at the sidewalk. He had nowhere to go. Finally, he headed for the lot, and sat down in a corner.

He must have dozed off, because the next thing he knew, someone was shaking him.

"What are you doing out here, Johnnycake?"

"My folks were fighting," he answered, then squinted up to see who was shaking him. "Dally?"

"Yeah, it's me," Dally replied. "Listen, it's freezing out here. Why don't you go to Pony's place or something?"

Johnny stood up and brushed dead grass off his pants. "I can't. Not now."

"Why not? You know his folks wouldn't mind."

"You ain't heard yet?"

Dally shook his head. "No, what?"

"They're dead."

"They're _dead_?"

Johnny nodded.

"Christ. What happened?"

Johnny shrugged.

"Damn. Well…look kid, you can't stay out here. It's gonna rain. Go to Two-Bit's place, okay?"

"All right."

As Johnny walked down the street, Dally turned and punched the fence that surrounded the lot. Then he took off in the opposite direction. He hoped some Soc was stupid enough to cross his path…


End file.
